Is monogamy dead?
Comedian Rosie Wilby performed this as a stand up show at the Nightingale theatre in Brighton. She has also written a book that goes into much more detail on this topic. She was prompted to write this after seeing many of her friend’s long term relationships break down and she also decided it was time to consider whether her own relationship needed a change. Would polyamory save her relationship?
At the live show, Rosie asked who was in relationship or multiple relationships? At first it was silent, then quietly 3/4 of the room made a noise. As lots of people were sat in couples, it made me smile when Rosie asked who was in a poly relationship and only 1 of several couples put their hands up. Maybe the other half just didn’t get the memo that their relationship was now poly!
The book has an amazing glossary of modern poly terms and throughout the show Rosie asked about many of them. What do we mean by a monogamous relationship? The word monogamous comes from the Greek for one relationship for life. Whereas, many of us have adapted it to mean monogamous, one relationship at a time. What percentage of so called “monogamous” people now really have just one relationship for life?
A new word I learnt was frubly. If you get turned on by your partner getting pleasure from someone else, your getting frubly.
In the show Rosie discusses various sexual surveys. We looked at some where people consider what actions count as infidelity.
Mastubating while thinking about someone else. “That’s just standard really”, said a member of the audience.
She listed non sexual things as well as some people value emotional fidelity more. This came up almost as high as kissing someone else. There were evem people who came up with watching porn alone as infidelity.
Rosie’s book chronicles her own relationship ups and downs as looks to consider different types of relationships. Is a plantonic relationship just as important? Is non-monogamy non stop new partners and swinging from the chandeliers? To find out more, Rosie’s book is on amazon as an old fashioned paperback or via kindle.
Rosie Wilby is a Comedian / Author. Is Monogamy Dead? out now (Accent Press). Host, The Breakup Monologues podcast. Presenter, Radio Diva.